Modesty

I know this is a few years old, I feel the topic is worth bringing up again. This is a message from a group of fundamentalist Christian men telling women how to dress and act. (Of course it’s men, why would women be consulted when discussing how women should act?) Watch it at your own peril. If you can make it through the entire video without attempting to cause yourself or your computer bodily harm, you’re a better person than I. You’ve been warned:

For those of you who chose (wisely) to not listen to this drivel, or to those who perforated an eardrum part way through, I’ll go over some highlights.

The video is a bit of a slide show going on while pastor C.J. Mahaney discussed how it was the woman’s responsibility to dress modestly because apparently the good pastor apparently can’t stop thinking with his dick.

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I guess?

“Campus is a loaded minefield. There are girls everywhere, and it is guaranteed that I will pass some attractive girls as I walk in between classes. I either have to be actively engaging my mind and my spirit in praying, quoting Scripture, listening to worship music, or simply looking at the sidewalk to make it through unscathed.”

I had a period like this as well. I was noticing beautiful women everywhere, and was constantly trying to keep my mind on other things to avoid unpleasantness. It’s called middle school, and I was going through puberty. I was noticing all these changes in my body, and it was awkward and uncomfortable. But I eventually learned that it was perfectly natural to feel these changes, and I entered 9th grade without being anymore scarred than anyone else who went through puberty. Is this pastor really saying that I was more emotionally mature at the age of 14 than he is as an adult in a leadership position?

“Sometimes, when I see a girl provocatively dressed, I’ll say to myself, she probably doesn’t even know that a 101 guys are going to devour her in their minds today. But then again, maybe she does. To be honest, I don’t know the truth… I don’t know because I’ve never sat down with a girl and asked her why. All I need to know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait for my sinful mind to latch onto and I need to avoid it at all costs.”
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What a whore.

So we’re listening to somebody who admittedly is afraid to transform into a slovenly sex fiend at the sight of a freshman girl in a sundress. And rather than understanding why they do what they do – because that would require *GASP* talking to them! – it’s safer to assume that they’re some sort of slut monster with no thought other than to tempt you away from heaven with her sinful uterus. How the fuck can anybody take seriously the sex advice of somebody who is open about the fact that he’s afraid to talk to women?

“To the girls who are ignorant, please serve your brother and have your dad screen your wardrobe. Ask him how you can better choose holiness over worldliness. He’s a guy, and he knows more than you do on the issue.”

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Pictured: expert on women.

Yes ladies, men know far more about how to dress you than you could ever know. Bow before the all powerful Y chromosome!

So basically every woman needs to be wearing a full Christian burqa in order to not arouse this one particular prude of a pastor?

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Granted, maybe she’s not doing it right.

What this boils down to is that rather than change himself to become comfortable with women and their perfectly natural sexuality, all women should change to make HIM comfortable. I’m sick and fucking tired of uptight men trying to control woman’s sexuality using religious guilt. Why the flying fuck do so many religious people find sexuality to be this ugly, unnatural thing? After all, God supposedly created it. There’s nothing more natural than sex! If you find sex to be a horrible, dirty, awful thing, you’re DOING IT WRONG!

This doesn’t mean I’m advocating wanton hedonism and crazy sex in the street (although I’m not NOT advocating it). But raising people in an environment that teaches that natural thoughts and feelings are somehow dirty and evil creates severe psychological issues. Forcing women within your church (or mosque, synagogue, rec center, the town in Footloose, whatever) to wear beekeeper’s suits may make you less uncomfortable within your house of worship (“I feel so much better knowing there’s an extra layer of clothing between me and that vagina”), it doesn’t prepare you or any other members of your congregation for the real world. It’s like teaching someone to drive a go-kart in a parking lot and expecting them to be able to seamlessly transition into driving an eighteen-wheeler on the LA freeway.

You’re creating sexually repressed, emotionally retarded, culturally unaware people like the good pastor, and setting them loose in a world that they are in no way prepared to handle.

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~ by kriskodisko on August 29, 2013.

9 Responses to “Modesty”

  1. Well, firstly, I’d like to correct you in saying that the pastor is not saying these things personally, he’s reading from someone else’s words.

    That being said, mostly I agree with you regarding this post. (mostly 😉 )

    I’ve always (and especially recently) said that it boggles my mind that the same men who are so “shocked” and “tempted” in the church, go home to watch R-rated films with sexual nudity and/or television shows that depict tons of sex and glamorize it.

    If you watch PG-13 films, don’t come to church and tell ME not to show my “belly button” or my “thigh”… If your problem is lust, then you’re doing the most damage to yourself by thinking of it this way and filing your head with this dribble when you’re at home.

    What I WILL say is this however… most of the time when I hear men speak on these issues, I’m convinced that they’re referring to the types of women who have always made me a bit uncomfortable myself.

    While I see no problems in shorts and tank tops and cute dresses, and spaghetti straps, etc… I don’t for the life of me understand why a woman wants to walk out of her front door in something that you could bust out of if you SNEEZED the wrong way.

    Granted, hey, it’s your life and you can wear whatever the heck you want. I ain’t complaining too much.

    But it DOES make me uncomfortable when girls dress ultra slinky especially if they’re going to parade around in front of my husband.

    I explained this to my sister one time. Her and her friends came over for a swim. No biggie. Didn’t care what they wore to the pool (although I’m a fan of one pieces… I have unfortunately seen too many women “accidentally” lose their bikini tops haha) – and afterwards they came up to eat. Well, my sister put shorts back on, and an over shirt, one of her friends got completely dressed, but the other seemed to have no problem lounging around in her bikini in front of my husband. I just thought that this was disrespectful. My sister said, “Well, she’s got a great body!” … well, yes… but who is she trying to impress? She’s not a lesbian and the only man around was my husband.

    I just thought it was a bit disrespectful and rude. My husband is pretty trustworthy in these regards but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t situations that make even me cringe. (that being one of them)

    I don’t know, maybe you’ll disagree with me and that’s fine.

    But there are certainly some women that I don’t understand what their goal is in wearing certain things.

    Yes, everyone says to me, “maybe she likes it!” … Well, sure, maybe she does, but most people don’t just do whatever just because they like it IF they know that it’ll make a majority of people uncomfortable.

    Regardless, as I said, mostly I agree with this.

  2. I got about three and a half minutes into the video before revulsion compelled me to stop.

    My take on it: The preacher is one sick fuck for asking the young men of his congregation to put their lustful thoughts about young women into writing for him. As Amethyst loves to say, the preacher “doth protest too much, methinks”.

  3. I think I’m somewhere in the middle.
    I believe in physical modesty. I think if you’re falling out of something or you can’t sit down without showing off your reproductive organs, you’re taking your freedom of self-expression a bit far. Be respectful and be sanitary. That’s not too much to ask. Taking it on yourself to be responsible for other people’s thoughts is.
    Look, I know what’s it’s like to have such a strong sex drive that it’s hard to concentrate on other things. But that’s just part of being human, a lot of us have that. You learn to deal with it. If you can’t carry on a conversation with a girl because you caught a glimpse of her stomach, that’s a personal problem you need to address.

    I think it’s a bad idea for a person to go around scantily clad because to me they’re intentionally directing the focus to their body and saying, “This is what I have to offer.” I think it’s unhealthy to present oneself to the world primarily as a sexual object because the sex drive is strong enough that if we get that, we tend to have a hard time seeing beyond it to the whole person.
    I also think it’s a bad idea to say to a shop owner, “Look, I need you to stop printing those glossy advertisements. They make your wares look so good that I can’t help trying to steal them.” Take responsibility for your own desires and grow the heck up.

  4. I agree with you.. and also this Lisa’s comment, above, has some very good insights. I think the main problem is each sex wants to blame the other, but men cannot control women and women cannot control men. In Fact, the only person we can truly control is our self, so for men that means asking: Is my mind consumed with lust? Am I so consumed I cant function? Do I lust more than I appreciate beauty? Do I lust have have thoughts more than I engage in real and genuine friendships and relationships with females? For the females, I think this means being conscious of how they present themselves, but that is really up to them. If they desire to dress a certain way, the truth is the odds of finding a good guy drastically decrease and the odds of finding a jerk who wants to use her increases. But they, I think we all have our own roads to find out what is best for us. I do think women are falsely told in the media that to grow up means to show everything they got and be “proud” but the only problem is that then their image is solely based on their looks.. and looks fade. And as far as myself, I might find a good-looking female attractive physically but the ones I pursue are the ones who are attractive in more ways than just the physical anyway.

  5. I have a message for the men out there: I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop working out, because your muscles are making me uncomfortably turned on. It’s inappropriate.

  6. Reblogged this on Math and Stuff.

  7. Why is this never a problem in nudist colonies? Or is it? Is there a huge problem with guys attacking women in nudist colonies? *thinks* Can someone fact-check this, because I’m really curious now.

  8. Pure nudity. I don’t see why anyone has any issue with anything someone wears.

    For those commenting above me who say that one should be decent, that whole concept is pure bullshit. What is decency? It changes culture to culture and is completely subjective. I think people should be able to run around naked or dressed however they want. Why stop at bikinis only in the pool or sundresses or whatever arbitrary clothing items YOU deem decent. The people above giving requirements for what people should and should not wear around their husbands or otherwise are as bad as the preacher. All you’ve done is gone one step more liberal rather than taking it all the way and saying “you know what f*** it, wear what you like. It’s not my place to say.”

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